Email I recently received from a student...
Dr. Awesome,
This is Totally Oblivious**, I am a student in your Introduction to Basic Understanding class. I went to go take the test today and nobody was there. So I went to your secretary and she told me class doesn't meet on Fridays. I didn't know the class meets on Thursdays!?!? The reason I thought that the test was Friday is that I thought we had classes on Friday. I was not aware that we did not have class on Friday because I missed the first week ok your class because I was not scheduled in it yet, and I missed last week because one of my classmates, Also Oblivious (no relation), told me that we did not have class that day, so I thought it was just cancelled for one day. Is there anything I can do to make up this test. If there is could you email me back at who_am_I_kidding@schoolname.edu Thank you for your time.
Email I wish I could send:
Dear Totally,
So, I have announced in every class since the beginning of the semester that we would have an exam on this Thursday which leads me to believe that you have not attended a single class. Despite the fact that your class-skipping should have alloted you significant time to peruse the syllabus, you failed to accurately identify when the class meets, dates of the exam, or my policy for students who miss an exam for no other reason than pure stupidity, general ignorance, or failing to put in even the minimal amount of effort to their own education.
I have two suggestions for you:
RTFS, Read the syllabus
Drop this course. If you cannot manage to know when the class meets or when the exam is--there is no way you could pass the exam.
You are a disappointment.
Dr. Awesome
**Names and other details change to protect me
