So behind in blogging

I have a lot to say--the pressure on me right now feels inescapable and crushing. I have quoted this quote before here, but it seems to be hitting home for me again. Source: Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

"My life happens to, on occasion, suck beyond the telling of it. Sometimes more than I can handle. "

I am trying to get some work done today, but I feel like I have to 'blog this off my chest'

The soundtrack of my life would have the following songs on it (but not in this particular order):

1. Romeo and Juliet (not sure which version: Dire Straits (the classic), The Killers (the cover), or Matt Nathanson's live cover I first heard on pandora.com.
2. Same ol River-Jeff Black
3. Halleleuha-Jeff Buckley
4. Wild Horses (Again, not sure which version--I think one sung by a woman, not the Stones version)
5. Something to lose, Corey Smith
6. Off the tracks. Charlotte Kendrick
7. You don't make it easy, babe, Josh Ritter
8. Easy Silence, Dixie Chicks

More to come

Inspiration from William James

"There is nothing so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task."

"Our teachers are overworked already. Every one who adds a jot or little of unnecessary weight to their burden is a foe of education."

Now, I am just being lazy

PsycGirl drew my attention to the website 43things. I think that I should make a 43 things list. A 43 things list doesn't seem to be the type of thing you can do in a few minutes so I need to think more on it...and I am too lazy to write it down somewhere else. So this is a reminder to myself.

Definitely, Maybe

So, anyone familiar with my blog (which is unlikely because I have probably less than a handful of readers and tend to ramble rather than say anything particularly insightful).

But, my blog is actually called: Okay, Awesome and it is taken from one of my favorite shows.

So, when I say there was a movie coming out called, Definitely, Maybe I felt that this movie was a kindred spirit of sorts. Seeing the movie starred Ryan Reynolds only solidified my interest in the movie.

Now, I have recently sworn off romantic comedies. I didn't go see PS I love you and I am in no rush to see 27 Dresses. I just can't see happy couples and predictable endings and everyone ending up with someone...the stark contrast to my single-and-not-lovin-it existence is just too much to stomach. Literally. I think going to the movies such as this would make me vomit.

Now the movie is making it hard for me to resist. Ryan Reynolds--delicious. Abagail Breslin--She's in everything. Plus, Elizabeth Banks (from Scrubs) and Kevin Kline. Damn, I may have to watch this movie after all! It opens Valentines Day (VOMIT!)

Now here's the summary: A political consultant tries to explain his impending divorce and past relationships to his 11-year-old daughter. Courtesy of IMDB.com (best website ever).

What do you when?

So, I am at a luncheon meeting this week. Another faculty member I know (but do not consider a 'friend') says, "Hey Dr. Awesome, there's room at our table." So, I felt obligated to sit down at his table when I would have rather sat with others (who hadnt arrived yet). There is no way to say, "No, don't want to sit with you. Want to sit with my friends."

Album Cover Meme

Saw this idea earlier this month on DancingFish's blog. It was so much fun.

Here are rules:

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.
2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.
3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4. Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post the result in your own journal.

Foward and Fearless

So, earlier I posted about a great idea that I read about on ProfGirl's Blog. I batted around a few ideas about what my theme could be, but none really 'fit.' So I let my subconscious work on it for a while and it came to me! My theme for 2008 is:

Foward and Fearless

In a way, this theme encompasses many of the ideas that I had on the previous list. First, my avoidance of task completion is becuase I am afraid. When I go back and look at my possible themes 'afraid' or 'fear' are mentioned twice.

Professionally, I am afraid to send out manuscripts--afraid they will be rejected, afraid that I am not cut out for this job. I am afraid that I will not get a job offer this year and that I will be stuck for another year in a job that I hate in place I feel alone.

Personally, I am afraid that no one will want to date me if I venture out to the oneline dating world.

So, I am making a change. I will move foward with my life as best I can. I will try new things (online dating--I will post my ad within the next month is over--which is right around Valentines Day; Join local crafty club that I have been avoiding doing; Try out Young Professional Group in Arty KickAss Nearby City (AKNC)). I will submit a manuscript (if not more than one) this semester.

Hopefully, moving foward, fearlessly will be just what I need this year.

Pissed and scooped!

I think I have a new enemy. I graduate student at my former alma mater is presenting research that I think he stole from me. To be fair, I haven't done the research--but I did have the idea and I am reasonably sure that we discussed it. Basically, there is a paper that states XYZ. I have felt for years (since first reading the paper) not XYZ actually ABC (and I have a really clever explanation why). I have emails from years ago when I discussed this with another student. I know this idea is mine and if some graduate student or faculty had independently thought this up--that's fair. But I am pretty sure he has heard my explanation of the XYZ article and went out and tested the ABC explanation. What a sneaky bastard. I am so disappointed (mostly because its a clever test of my ABC explanation), but more because I could have presented that research. Damn I need to write my butt of and get published before I get scooped again.

Upside: The area of research is a tiny sub area (probably less than 10 pubs--I know because I have a file of them for when I turn back to this idea) in a sub area of my discipline. So, I shouldn't feel that bad about it. But I feel like my rare good ideas are now one less.

Downside: His advisor is a friend of mine and I am not sure how not to ask how this idea came about.

And, I cannot even delve into research today because I have 2 appointments across town.

Damn, Damn, Damn.

Countdown is on....

So, I think I have set my schedule for next semester. I have a really full teaching schedule 16 hours in the classroom + 4 office hours + various meetings, etc. The scary part for me (cause 2o or so hours is do-able) is that 2 courses are new--one will be heavy prep. I can't imagine being able to be ready for that course in under 5 hours a week.

I have one day totally free (save stray faculty meetings)--and miracle that it is the day allows me a three day weekend as needed.
I have two days where I am in class what appears like indefinatley.
I have two days where I only have 2 hours of commitments.

I am going to try to get to Gym every day.

Feeling stressed about the schedule already.

Rateyourstudents, you are so my hero!

So, I don't give out my notes for a variety of reasons (both practical and pedagogical). Also, been debating about going pedagogically naked (without 'powerpoint'). [Before I go on a rant about how this is easy for me (see, I didn't spend a decade in college for nothing--I did it (among other reasons) so that I could talk intelligibly about this particular course of study without consulting a slide show), a recent poster to RYS, does it here, with a fierceness I can barely muster

Student reaction: Gasp, the horror!

My mockery to student reaction: How can students learn without an active powerpoint slide show behind them? How can they only write down less than 15 words every 5 minutes without something telling them what 15 words? How can I expect them to listen and actually think about what I am saying? Find the main idea and write it down in their own words?

I hate myself just thinking about this idea? Going back and forth on what to do? Maybe I'll go rogue and be powerpoint-less for a few weeks, maybe more. Who knows?

How long does it take to fix a computer?

My computer has been at my schoool's IT department since before Thanksgiving. Seriously? How long does it take to get my computer fixed.

Oddities I noticed while driving

1. The woman who tailgated me has a license plate that says LOVE4GOD.
2. Passed a state whose statewide campaign is BREAST_FEED_'STATE_NAME'.COM. Of course, what they mean is Breast Feed, State_Name, but it makes one think of that is a request for someone to breast feed the entire state. Websites just don't have punctuation--and that makes for some weird billboards.