My long awaited blog about Introduction to Advanced Sub-Discipline class

So, I started this blog post (mentally) because I had a really bad lecture. Some days I am 'on' and everything flows. It is organic and natural, the students enjoy it, the learning is easy. It is a perfect teaching day. Most days it is good (not perfect, but good). Some days I suck. This blog was inspired because one Monday, I sucked. The lecture was forced and awkward. The students looked confused, I felt confused. I should say that Sub-Discipline is my field (what my PHD is in) and that day we were lecturing on my specific area of speciality within sub-discipline. I got a bit freaked out. How could I suck at my speciality within my discipline? Here at TBU, I only get to teach my sub-discipline about once a year. The following class (Wed) went significantly better. I know I need to read more, prepare more, etc. Not massive levels, but I shouldn't 'wing it' (just print out lecture notes the moments before class. If not for the students (which is a first reason), for me because I enjoy the lecture more when I am a bit better briefed before I go in.

Two other issues related to this class:
The student with the second messiest handwriting (they do writing in class, so I can evaluate this fairly well) told me he couldn't read my handwriting. Granted my comments were a bit sloppy, but I had to write the same thing on everyone's page. I was going to explain the abbreviations when the whole class arrived.

Finally, students in the class SUCKED on final exam. Really. It is like they tried to get bad grades. I have used almost all of these items before, they actually discriminated well, so I know they are good items. These students are really ticking me off. I am not going to dumb down this course because these students aren't willing to work. I have this course later today, we are going to talk about their performance and how to study for exams. A come-to-Jesus-class of sorts.

Get a dictonary, kids.

Is it really to much to ask for students to understand the word pervade?
Is that word above the level of a college student (an upper level college student).
I used that word on essay question on test (the reason behind the multiple blog posts in a 2 hours block is that I am proctoring exam for my students) and I got 3 questions on what does pervade mean? That's 10% of the class. Also, one of the students phrased it like this:
"You wouldn't by chance know what pervade means, do you?"
Does he realize I wrote the exam? Of course I know what it means!

All that was left undone

So ongoing to-do list that won't die:

1. Find latest copy of Masters/Research draft--reread [pushed off until tomorrow--a more research/writing day]
2. Meet with GA--get GA working on lots of stuff I need done
3. 13 items left to be written for exam (write at least 7)[--If I can get all 13 done by tomrrow, I am going to treat myself to a visit to Arty KickAss Nearby City (AKNC) for sushi and anonmity]
4. Plan out timing for next few lectures of: Introduction to Basic Understanding class [Eh, I can wing it...I have taught this class more times than I can count. They have an exam next Thursday (a week from tomrrow) so I will worry about the timing of the lectures for next week. I am not too behind? I hope?
5. Work on exam for Introduction to Advanced Sub-Discipline class [Worked on it, still needs work. Must be done by Thurs at 3]
6. Blog about complex feelings about Introduction to Advanced Sub-Discipline class [This blog is coming, but not here yet]
7. Prepare survey for Introduction to Basic Understanding class

I kinda hate M/W days. I teach at least 5 hours each day (some days 7 based on a weird scheduling issue]. Today it's 7. Which means when you add in one hour of office hours, I have an 8 hour day of nothing but teaching. Of course, I should probably be trying to do some work, not blogging.

Okay, so in the hour before my next class, I am going to try to tackle:
Making a few items for #2.
Print materials for lecture.

Update: Woo-hoo, 4 more items done for exam I am writing (this is a paid assignment and really something that I need to get out for money reasons). Only 9 items left to be written. I am really going to try to write the rest today/tonight so that I am not working on this Thursday/Friday

Trying desperately not to freak out...

Need to be productive. Afraid. Setting some publically (somewhat, as no one reads this) accountable goals.

1. Find latest copy of Masters/Research draft--reread
2. Meet with GA--get GA working on lots of stuff I need done
3. 13 items left to be written for exam (write at least 7)
4. Plan out timing for next few lectures of: Introduction to Basic Understanding class
5. Work on exam for Introduction to Advanced Sub-Discipline class [Worked on it, still needs work. Must be done by Thurs at 3]
6. Blog about complex feelings about Introduction to Advanced Sub-Discipline class
7. Prepare survey for Introduction to Basic Understanding class

Today, is supposed to be a writing day, but I am behind in my courses. I know I only have the energy for about 3-4 more hours of work today.

Current update: Attack of the Publisher Reps--Got ambushed by book rep. He was very nice, not particularly knowledgeable (he just took over for a merger of two major publishing houses, so he wasn't as down as I was), going to send me lots of books (yea!). As he left, he gave me gift certificate to our local coffee house, what a peach! I know that it is to make me like him and order his books, but I also like being paid (in coffee) for my time. Of course, now I it is nearly 5pm and I am way behind in this growing list of things to be done.

Next update: Almost an hour later, going home. An 8 hour on campus day is enough. going to take a bit of a break at home with some TV and dinner. Then back to work tonight. Must cross a few things off the list. Also need to read for tomorrow mornings class. Damn.

Also, still pissed at student who came by asking demanding my notes from a class she missed. This student has had classes with me before. My syllabus clearly explains that I do not give students my notes. I finally just had to respond, "I don't give out my notes." to each whine she was giving out until she finally left. Ugh.

Emails I wish I could send...

Email I recently received from a student...
Dr. Awesome,
This is Totally Oblivious**, I am a student in your Introduction to Basic Understanding class. I went to go take the test today and nobody was there. So I went to your secretary and she told me class doesn't meet on Fridays. I didn't know the class meets on Thursdays!?!? The reason I thought that the test was Friday is that I thought we had classes on Friday. I was not aware that we did not have class on Friday because I missed the first week ok your class because I was not scheduled in it yet, and I missed last week because one of my classmates, Also Oblivious (no relation), told me that we did not have class that day, so I thought it was just cancelled for one day. Is there anything I can do to make up this test. If there is could you email me back at who_am_I_kidding@schoolname.edu Thank you for your time.

Email I wish I could send:
Dear Totally,
So, I have announced in every class since the beginning of the semester that we would have an exam on this Thursday which leads me to believe that you have not attended a single class. Despite the fact that your class-skipping should have alloted you significant time to peruse the syllabus, you failed to accurately identify when the class meets, dates of the exam, or my policy for students who miss an exam for no other reason than pure stupidity, general ignorance, or failing to put in even the minimal amount of effort to their own education.
I have two suggestions for you:
RTFS, Read the syllabus
Drop this course. If you cannot manage to know when the class meets or when the exam is--there is no way you could pass the exam.
You are a disappointment.
Dr. Awesome


**Names and other details change to protect me

My letter to rateyourstudents...

As I have mentioned before, I love , love , love Rate your students. It has been my saving grace, my source of sanity and laughs, and a cathartic release of all my frustrations. But I have also disagreed (at times vehemently) with postings. Recently, I was so freaken mad that I almost wrote in. I have yet to write in to RYS. They verify people and I have a unsubstantiated fear that one of the gang that runs the compound will be here at TBU or know someone at TBU.

So here is the letter I was going to write in (a bit expanded for my blog's sake):

Recently, a young professor posted this --basically a request for help and advice. Were her ideas a bit Pollyanna at times (wanting students to view the course as more than just a course), a bit naive at times (expecting there might be a way to get all students to show on time, every time), and a bit misguided (wanting the students to think she is cool)? Yes. And I felt those things as soon as I read her post. At its heart, these aren't the worst things. A bit Pollyanna is better than cynical and bitter, right? Naive and optimistic must be better than pessimistic, right? And weren't we all misguided at the start? It was only from sage advice from those who came before us or getting through that first semester we taught that helped us realize that students didn't need to like us to learn or that them liking us might actually make things worse.

This post stirred up lots of feelings in others as well.

I wanted to share some of my reactions to the responses because it is the responses that made me almost write in (not the original post). I am going to include some snippets (or flava) of the reactions below:

Some gave helpful advice:
"* Some if not many of your students will feel your class is important. Others won’t. There’s not a hell of a lot you can do about it. Show you care about the material and they’ll come to their own conclusions. Some students are on this earth to recycle air. You won’t reach them. So what? Focus on the majority of them who really are worth a damn and ignore the ones who aren’t." [I love the phrase 'on earth to recycle air']
"*Every class is going to be "just another class" for most of the students in it. That doesn't mean you can't teach the shit out of it. No one ever, in the whole history of everything, ever seemed even "a little cool" by wanting to. You don't have to be cool to teach your students. You don't have to be cool for them to like you."

Or practical advice:
"*Make it a portion of the student's grade to submit, each class, a question or comment from the readings for class discussion. This will require that they do at least some of the reading. Some students still will not do it. Some will take the lower grade, and some will make up stupid questions 5 minutes before class. But, you will be able to tell who those students are and grade them accordingly."

Some addressed the misguided posts with harshness and humor:
"*There are so many things wrong with your point of view but let us start with the most obvious, the idea that you can get all of your students to show up on time, bring their books, and be prepared? You’ll be lucky if they even buy the books rookie! This imaginary fantasy student that you speak of is much like a cat that you train to use the toilet. Everyone has seen a clip of one on Youtube, or heard of a friend of a friend who had one. However every cat you ever have will just pee on your bed and crap in your plants."

But some were down right mean. I would have cried if I had posted the question and got the following responses, and I almost cried reading them even though they weren't directed at me. Here is the worst of the meanest:
"*Here's my response: Dumbass."
"*I absolutely know how to get ALL my students to come to my classes on time, every time. They love it so much they want to be there even AFTER class is over! But since I am most likely one of the lousy professors you had, focusing on minutiae (which, you dipshit, is necessary in my field), I am not going to fucking tell you the secret."
"*Just get your shit together, and teach. Given the desperate narcissism of your post, I can see why your students don’t come to class. I probably wouldn’t, either."

And one that was fairly condescending, but redeemed by offers of scotch:
"* It's so cute to see naiveté bud and blossom. When the students kick cynicism into your veins come on over to my house. I'll save some scotch for you."

There are more posts there, but my response was most strongly to the mean posts. If I could have written in to RYS, it would have sounded something like this:

How quickly you forget. We were all new at this game once. Some of us are new know, desperately tying to find our way, to do a better-than-good job, to get tenure or a job that we can stand, to feel good about our day, to find happiness in a job that we suffered through a decade of college to get. Why are those past this newbie stage so willing to cut the throats of the ghosts of their former selves? For me, RYS has to be a place where I get all the things my job doesn't provide me. I need this virtual water cooler to make me feel better about my day (love that smackdown), to laugh, and to find solace. When I see people with such vitriol, it breaks my heart and spirit. Don't ruin a good thing and consider giving a handout (instead of a bitchsmack) to those that follow in your footsteps.

Inspiration from William James

"There is nothing so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task."

"Our teachers are overworked already. Every one who adds a jot or little of unnecessary weight to their burden is a foe of education."

Countdown is on....

So, I think I have set my schedule for next semester. I have a really full teaching schedule 16 hours in the classroom + 4 office hours + various meetings, etc. The scary part for me (cause 2o or so hours is do-able) is that 2 courses are new--one will be heavy prep. I can't imagine being able to be ready for that course in under 5 hours a week.

I have one day totally free (save stray faculty meetings)--and miracle that it is the day allows me a three day weekend as needed.
I have two days where I am in class what appears like indefinatley.
I have two days where I only have 2 hours of commitments.

I am going to try to get to Gym every day.

Feeling stressed about the schedule already.

Rateyourstudents, you are so my hero!

So, I don't give out my notes for a variety of reasons (both practical and pedagogical). Also, been debating about going pedagogically naked (without 'powerpoint'). [Before I go on a rant about how this is easy for me (see, I didn't spend a decade in college for nothing--I did it (among other reasons) so that I could talk intelligibly about this particular course of study without consulting a slide show), a recent poster to RYS, does it here, with a fierceness I can barely muster

Student reaction: Gasp, the horror!

My mockery to student reaction: How can students learn without an active powerpoint slide show behind them? How can they only write down less than 15 words every 5 minutes without something telling them what 15 words? How can I expect them to listen and actually think about what I am saying? Find the main idea and write it down in their own words?

I hate myself just thinking about this idea? Going back and forth on what to do? Maybe I'll go rogue and be powerpoint-less for a few weeks, maybe more. Who knows?

Random Nighttime Thoughts

• It has almost been a month since my last post. I have had a lot to say, but been so busy and so scared and stressed to blog.
• Update: Mountain Man turned in latest major assignment days late--I am still grading the classes work, but his looks sub par. Of course, Mountain Man has decided he wants to take an advanced course (based on the current course) with me next semester. It is like he is a plant trying to drive me crazy. Also in the class has Snotty McKnowItAll in it. Snotty has told me to my face that she "doesn't get much out of going to class" and can "learn the material better on her own". She has failed to turn in major assignment 2. It is getting so late that technically it is worth 0 (or negative, can I give negative points?). If I am feeling nice, I might still accept it, but she has really screwed herself.
• My office computer crashed. The IT department has it. It is really cramping my style.
• I applied to a few schools--maybe 7-8. Of those, I could be excited about 3-4. One is very exciting--I will call it Nearly Dream Job, NDJ. NDJ is near hometown city, near friends and family, larger than TBU, more research focused, and near a major city. I know friends that have worked there and loved it, the facilities are gorgeous. PFKA told me he spoke with someone there about the job and he said the job could be perfect for me. I am not sure what it means that he 'talked to someone about the job'--I don't know if he was laying the ground for my application or just generally asking about the job.
• The rambler gave a colloquium--it was sooo boring, methodologically unsound and ironic. I cannot get into details, but it would be the equivalent of the Enron guys giving a lecture on Ethics, Exxon talking about environmental issues, Britney lecturing others on parenting. It is part of the "forced fun series" our department has initiated. So now we must 'get to know each other'
• I have a lot more on my mind, but it is getting late and I need to go to bed. I have been pretty sick over the past few days and needs lots more rest.

Mountain man disappoints again

So, mountain man, you continue to disappoint. After a particularly sucky performance on your first major paper (no understanding of style (despite the multiple lectures and book devoted to this topic that you were assigned to read), grammatically poor writing, unclear, failure to do the necessary components of the paper (that were neatly summarized in a handout for you), you set out to work on the final paper for the semester. I instructed all of the students, you included, to choose a topic that was related to course material (my area of expertise). You have decided to ignore this request despite my warnings that I could not do you as much good as a guide to this paper if I am unfamiliar with the area. To be fair, I cast a very wide net of things that were considered 'my area'.

Mountain man, why do you come to my office with questions ("How can I narrow this down?, Can I discuss this aspect of X component?, Is this a good hypothesis?)--This is an entirely novel area of study for me. After advising as best I could, why do you fail to take my suggestions.

I explain to you that you need to begin reading the articles that you have and you say you are going to find 20 more sources.

I explain that you should outline and summarize what you read as you go, and you insist you read all of the articles and then sit down to write the paper.

I explain that it is difficult to have a hypothesis for this paper if you haven't first read the literature that is out there, you insist as soon as you have figured out your hypothesis, you will sit down and work on literature review.

Are you trying to make my head explode. Just when I thought I had it bad, I found this post on RYS. Enjoy--it sure made me feel better about my difficult students.

It is so hot in my office

I am hiding out in my lab space. My lab space here at TBU, is pretty limited---and they have me jumping through so many hoops I haven't had time to unpack the piles of crappily organized research that sit around me organize it the way I would like.

This is one of the few parts of our shabby building that has ac, so here I am. I have a meeting at 6. So I hope to leave campus by 7pm--in and of itself, is pretty crappy because I got here this morning not much after 7.

So, while I am here (after this brief decompression), I will work on teaching statement, research statement, vita, cover letters. I have a few job ads that I want to get out last week ASAP. I am not particularly excited about any of them. They are only exciting in that they are not here. Damn Close to Dream School's (from here on out, DCDM) deadline is late Nov. But at least getting these ads out will force me to be ready for later, greater ads.

On a plus note, after an ass-kickingly hard day, I am ready for rest of week. I have to give Midterm exams Wed and Thurs. Exams are ready--secretary will be copying them tomorrow. Lectures ready (have a lot to cover before exam, so will the students in the back row stop flirting and start listening).

On a super-plus note, my mom is coming to town this weekend. I cannot wait to have her here. Even if it means monster cleaning my place.

I hate hate hate hate you, Student Academic Center

SAC,
You suck! I realize you are there to help students be successful, but how does screwing me over help in that regard. Several of my students qualify for your services for things, such as extra time or a quiet environment for test taking. I appreciate that fact, and are glad you are there to provide such services. But for Pete's sake, first, I have to ask you to make sure the students complete the test on a scantron (Despite the instructions on the exam which indicate what they should bubble in said scantron). Then for this second test, you send me 8 student exams--one written in pen (scantron won't read that) and 6 scantrons stapled to the test--why stapled? Are you trying to break the exam grading machine and my spirit with one fell swoop. I hate hate hate you.
Best,
Dr. Awesome

Really?

“Saying ‘I’m sorry’ is the same as saying ‘I apologize.’ Except at a funeral.”
-Demetri Martin

How can some people be so funny and so eloquent while I have students who today said, "I be having trouble remembering and stuff."

Somehow, I think this kid's memory is the least of his problems.

Have they changed or have I?

At TBU, advanced class require students to write a introductory paper to kick of the class. I am commenting on students work so far in the course for my most advanced class, and I am struck by something. To write up the summaries, I am taking the summaries I wrote last year, and writing over them. What I seem to notice is that I had these very detailed comments to students about their work so far in the class and their introduction papers last year. This year, I find myself struggling to say anything. So, I ask myself, are my students less interesting this year or am I less interested this year. I find myself a bit scared if I am bored with my students already this year.

Drowning in a sea of red tape

So, one reason I like academia is I (perhaps, foolishly) thought I would experience less red-tape and bureaucratic nonsense in this world than in the 'real world.' [I love the insinuation that I don't work/live in real world--see RYS for eloquent rants about this issue]. Yet I spent the bulk of my morning adjusting my schedule to conform to University guidelines about how I spend my time in my office and how available I make myself to the students. The rest of my morning (when I wasn't in class) was spent emailing a student who despite our multiple meetings, agreed upon schedule, and tens of emails has proceeded to not make the necessary schedule changes to her schedule. Thus ensuring paperwork nightmares for me. Meanwhile, while in my office hours (expect one students that I asked to come by my office and one of my research assistants), the only visitors I got were the following:

[Open scene]

A professor is busily typing away at a key board. Surrounding her are files of various documents. Occasionally, she stops typing and looks curiously through the packet of papers. It is as if she is trying to figure out what tell a student who has messed up her schedule and refused (despite multiple meetings and emails) to fix it as instructed. A familiar face bounds in the office. Character is wearing a 'Hooters: Delightfully tacky, yet unrefined' t-shirt with no sense of the irony that Hooters gear is neither delightful or appropriate to wear around professors. The student bounds in...

Hooters: What's up?

Professor [trying, hopefully successfully, to hide both her disdain for the interruption and shirt, as well as her confusion as to who this familiar face actually is]: Just working, How are you? [Hoping the answer will provide details to the identity of this familiar face].

Hooters: I was wondering if I could use your printer.

Professor: For what exactly? [Still unsure of identity of Hooters]

Hooters: An statistics assignment that is due. My printer broke. If now is not a good time, I can come back.

[Character note: The professor does not teach statistics.]

Professor [With a strained expression]: You do know that there is a computer lab at the end of the hallway.

Hooters: No, I didn't.

Professor: Well, you need to use that lab, because I am in the middle of something that I needs to get done, so I cannot print out your assignment.

Hooters: Okay, thanks [Bounds out of office].

End scene.

As Hooters left my office, I realized how I knew her. She was the crappy, no-good, left me stranded, had-to-have-meetings-with-her-advisor, didn't hold up her end of the bargain Graduate Assistant I had last Fall. They are required to do 10 hours a week to stay eligible for their stipends. She was falling behind and wasn't completing anything I asked of her. She came to me begging for more work to make up the time lost. I gave her a project that I desperately needed done and it would have given her enough hours. It was perfect--she could do it at home (she has a tough schedule, poor baby) , the time commitment was pretty subjective (so she could fudge a bit on how hard she worked, and it was easy (perhaps a bit boring, but easy). I kept emailing her to ask for updates and to send me what she had accomplished. Finally at the end of the semester, I received all of the materials back. She had accomplished exactly 0% of the project. I was left high and dry (and screwed quite frankly). Did she have to return her stipend, make up those hours, or face any consequence from her department---nope.

Now she wants to borrow my printer and take my time away. Really?

The second visitor I got was a student looking for Dr. Frank Abstentia. This professor (who I have yet to blog about) is perpetually absent (hence his name). Much work of the department is done in his absence. He is wasted space (both literally, in that he has lots of claim to space in building, and figuratively). This student wanted to know where Dr. Abstentia was--like I know, like I care. So to Student Tight Pants, I say: Sorry your advisor sucks.

So to make a long story actually end--why do I need to be more available and more in my office? The students who need to see me, don't. And the time-suckers of the world always drop by. Not to mention that my being here mandates I deal with other people's messes.

Repeat working mantra.

Has anyone coined the phrase, blog-therapy---or perhaps blogapy. Because I always feel like I can let go of an issue once I have written about it here. [Perhaps, since I have been blogging for only a month, always is a misleading term. But you get the idea]

P.P.S. The student who I spent the morning is now on her way here to suck all of the remaining time out of my life.

Inspired by Profgirrrrl's Blog

So Profgirrrrl got an awesome email from a student and as such wrote on awesome response. I (both in my syllabus and in multiple class announcement) have instructed students in my Monday/Wednesday section of Introduction to Insert-My-True-Field-Here that they cannot attend my Tuesday/Thursday section and vice versa. Well, despite the fact that my syllabus also states that you should email me (not call me), I received a phone call that went like this:

Me (picking up the phone): Dr. Awesome

Student: Um, hello?

Me: Hello

Student: Um, I know you said that we weren't supposed to go to another section, but, like, I had to drop a class, then I had to add a class, my advisor said that I couldn't add that class cause its a bad idea for me, so then I was registering for this other class......

[this continued for a few minutes, I believe the student was trying to explain why the rules (i.e., you can only attend your section) should not apply to him/her because of the aforementioned, yet incomprehensibly explained series of circumstances. This monologue eventually ended with..]

Student: ... so can I attend your Thursday section of the class.

What I wished I said: No.

What I actually said: Just this once....

Damn, I hate being a pushover.