1. The Rambler wants to meet with me tomorrow to discuss some 'rumors about people that didnt get tenure this year.' The optimisitic interpretation is that he wants to assure me that I'll get tenure and explain why they didn't (note: they are not in my department). The slightly cynical interpetation is that he wants a new faculty member not be stressed or fearful becuase he doesn't want to institute a new job search if I leave (yet, his previous behavior negates this intreptation). The way cynical interpretation is that he wants to gossip. He claims this will take 5-10 minutes, I bet the meeting easily lasts an hour.
Update: Meeting took about 15 minutes. Felt like gossip wrapped in reassurance
2. I am on a committee. We are supposed to do X task. We are allotted a week to two weeks to do X task each time it comes around. I was given X task on Monday. I just got an email tonight (wednesday) asking if I was done with X task. Yuck, Yuck, Yuck!
3. Recieved a survey that I am supposed to fill out. Sent from upper level administration, supposedly part of a national survey, but my responses are linked to a particular log-in address. Doesn't feel very secure. Seem pretty obvious that people could trace this back to my name. Lots of personal questions that I don't think are the buisness of TBU.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Really, today couldn't be a snow day?
Damn, I wanted a snow day today. My Wednesdays are beastly and coming off of conference travel (which included 24 hour delays and lost luggage) has really put me behind. When you add in the fact that last night I had to make a 4 hour round trip errand (one that, if I was more on top of my life, would not have been necessary at all)--I was not willing to take it easy on my class this morning. It's an advanced senior level course with weekly readings and expected, regular, thoughtful discussion. Yet, out of my handful of students, half are great and half (my best guess) barely read for class. It is easy to tell, the suck half contribute less and in ways that are less risky (they come up with a requested personal example to illustrate a point I already explained). But today, I just didn’t have the energy for kick-the-ball-drag-half-the-class, so I assigned them one of the readings they were supposed to be prepared to discuss in class, gave them 25 minutes to review their notes on it, and told them to come back ready to share with the class the main points:
1. I summarized Review Article 1, I covered all the main points clearly and concisely, but of course I am Dr. Awesome and I expected it would be a bit more difficult for them.
2. Angel # 1, offered to do one article without a partner (odd number of students in class that day), it was an empirical article and she covered it quite well. She is quickly become my go-to-student. It is a bit surprising because there are two other students that I thought would exceed her, but she is doing excellent in the class. I had to highlight an important point or two that she glossed over, but in general it was a fine summary.
3. Angel 2 and 3, they presented another empirical article. Their summary was a bit more 'read' and they were a bit less clear, but generally it was a good summary and clear they had read before class. I am not surprised, these two are the other two stars in the class. They asked me today if we could kick out some members of the class, and I am pretty sure they mean Devil 1 and Devil 2.
4. Devil 1 and 2: First, Devil 1 told me he couldn’t do one of the articles (I was trying to give him the easier empirical article that Angel 1 and 2 did as opposed to the lengthy review article he wanted) and Devil 2 said that she hadn't read ahead in the class, I explained that this reading was one they were supposed to be discussion in class today, so she should have read it already. For their summary, they basically rehashed the abstract and made vague statements like X has an effect on Y without ever discussing the nature of that effect or the evidence for that effect. Devil 2 barely spoke at all.
5. Finally, I gave a quick final summary to a brief empirical article that remained.
Next week we are going to have sit down meetings and I am going to lay into these two devils about their crappy participation.
Why couldn't today have been a snow day.
1. I summarized Review Article 1, I covered all the main points clearly and concisely, but of course I am Dr. Awesome and I expected it would be a bit more difficult for them.
2. Angel # 1, offered to do one article without a partner (odd number of students in class that day), it was an empirical article and she covered it quite well. She is quickly become my go-to-student. It is a bit surprising because there are two other students that I thought would exceed her, but she is doing excellent in the class. I had to highlight an important point or two that she glossed over, but in general it was a fine summary.
3. Angel 2 and 3, they presented another empirical article. Their summary was a bit more 'read' and they were a bit less clear, but generally it was a good summary and clear they had read before class. I am not surprised, these two are the other two stars in the class. They asked me today if we could kick out some members of the class, and I am pretty sure they mean Devil 1 and Devil 2.
4. Devil 1 and 2: First, Devil 1 told me he couldn’t do one of the articles (I was trying to give him the easier empirical article that Angel 1 and 2 did as opposed to the lengthy review article he wanted) and Devil 2 said that she hadn't read ahead in the class, I explained that this reading was one they were supposed to be discussion in class today, so she should have read it already. For their summary, they basically rehashed the abstract and made vague statements like X has an effect on Y without ever discussing the nature of that effect or the evidence for that effect. Devil 2 barely spoke at all.
5. Finally, I gave a quick final summary to a brief empirical article that remained.
Next week we are going to have sit down meetings and I am going to lay into these two devils about their crappy participation.
Why couldn't today have been a snow day.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Emails I wish I could send...
Email I recently received from a student...
Dr. Awesome,
This is Totally Oblivious**, I am a student in your Introduction to Basic Understanding class. I went to go take the test today and nobody was there. So I went to your secretary and she told me class doesn't meet on Fridays. I didn't know the class meets on Thursdays!?!? The reason I thought that the test was Friday is that I thought we had classes on Friday. I was not aware that we did not have class on Friday because I missed the first week ok your class because I was not scheduled in it yet, and I missed last week because one of my classmates, Also Oblivious (no relation), told me that we did not have class that day, so I thought it was just cancelled for one day. Is there anything I can do to make up this test. If there is could you email me back at who_am_I_kidding@schoolname.edu Thank you for your time.
Email I wish I could send:
Dear Totally,
So, I have announced in every class since the beginning of the semester that we would have an exam on this Thursday which leads me to believe that you have not attended a single class. Despite the fact that your class-skipping should have alloted you significant time to peruse the syllabus, you failed to accurately identify when the class meets, dates of the exam, or my policy for students who miss an exam for no other reason than pure stupidity, general ignorance, or failing to put in even the minimal amount of effort to their own education.
I have two suggestions for you:
RTFS, Read the syllabus
Drop this course. If you cannot manage to know when the class meets or when the exam is--there is no way you could pass the exam.
You are a disappointment.
Dr. Awesome
**Names and other details change to protect me
Dr. Awesome,
This is Totally Oblivious**, I am a student in your Introduction to Basic Understanding class. I went to go take the test today and nobody was there. So I went to your secretary and she told me class doesn't meet on Fridays. I didn't know the class meets on Thursdays!?!? The reason I thought that the test was Friday is that I thought we had classes on Friday. I was not aware that we did not have class on Friday because I missed the first week ok your class because I was not scheduled in it yet, and I missed last week because one of my classmates, Also Oblivious (no relation), told me that we did not have class that day, so I thought it was just cancelled for one day. Is there anything I can do to make up this test. If there is could you email me back at who_am_I_kidding@schoolname.edu Thank you for your time.
Email I wish I could send:
Dear Totally,
So, I have announced in every class since the beginning of the semester that we would have an exam on this Thursday which leads me to believe that you have not attended a single class. Despite the fact that your class-skipping should have alloted you significant time to peruse the syllabus, you failed to accurately identify when the class meets, dates of the exam, or my policy for students who miss an exam for no other reason than pure stupidity, general ignorance, or failing to put in even the minimal amount of effort to their own education.
I have two suggestions for you:
RTFS, Read the syllabus
Drop this course. If you cannot manage to know when the class meets or when the exam is--there is no way you could pass the exam.
You are a disappointment.
Dr. Awesome
**Names and other details change to protect me
RBOC
*My mind is a bit too scattered to write concisely, so RBOC it is...
*I am obsessed with The Killers song Mr. Brightside lately. I have been listening to lots of their songs off of Hot Fuss and enjoying them a lot. I wouldn't have thought that their music would suit my style, but I am really liking them.
*I recently re-read some of my blog posts. Basically, I found I couldn't quite recall something, but I knew I had blogged about it. The post was embroiled in lots of drama and, as such, was linked to many other posts I had made. I felt powerful after reading my thoughts. I felt like I had reminded myself of something and it fired me up. I had lost my fire about the issue, and I need it. I need the fire to make the changes in me and in my situation. My blog became this friend/lover that I share my life with--the kind that has your back and reminds you why you felt a certain way. It made me want to blog more. So, I am going to try to write a bit each day. I can't guarantee that will lead to a post every day--it may take me a few days to finish the thoughts I have, but I hope it will lead to more blogging and more tracking of my life. If I have goals I am working toward (and I do), hopefully this will help me assess my progress toward them.
*I am currently in an airport--stranded overnight. I am going to blog the adventure later. As for now, I will say that my flight should be taking off in 5 hours and I have been here for 4 hours so I am minutes away from the halfway point. Kudos to me.
*I am obsessed with The Killers song Mr. Brightside lately. I have been listening to lots of their songs off of Hot Fuss and enjoying them a lot. I wouldn't have thought that their music would suit my style, but I am really liking them.
*I recently re-read some of my blog posts. Basically, I found I couldn't quite recall something, but I knew I had blogged about it. The post was embroiled in lots of drama and, as such, was linked to many other posts I had made. I felt powerful after reading my thoughts. I felt like I had reminded myself of something and it fired me up. I had lost my fire about the issue, and I need it. I need the fire to make the changes in me and in my situation. My blog became this friend/lover that I share my life with--the kind that has your back and reminds you why you felt a certain way. It made me want to blog more. So, I am going to try to write a bit each day. I can't guarantee that will lead to a post every day--it may take me a few days to finish the thoughts I have, but I hope it will lead to more blogging and more tracking of my life. If I have goals I am working toward (and I do), hopefully this will help me assess my progress toward them.
*I am currently in an airport--stranded overnight. I am going to blog the adventure later. As for now, I will say that my flight should be taking off in 5 hours and I have been here for 4 hours so I am minutes away from the halfway point. Kudos to me.
My letter to rateyourstudents...
As I have mentioned before, I love , love , love Rate your students. It has been my saving grace, my source of sanity and laughs, and a cathartic release of all my frustrations. But I have also disagreed (at times vehemently) with postings. Recently, I was so freaken mad that I almost wrote in. I have yet to write in to RYS. They verify people and I have a unsubstantiated fear that one of the gang that runs the compound will be here at TBU or know someone at TBU.
So here is the letter I was going to write in (a bit expanded for my blog's sake):
Recently, a young professor posted this --basically a request for help and advice. Were her ideas a bit Pollyanna at times (wanting students to view the course as more than just a course), a bit naive at times (expecting there might be a way to get all students to show on time, every time), and a bit misguided (wanting the students to think she is cool)? Yes. And I felt those things as soon as I read her post. At its heart, these aren't the worst things. A bit Pollyanna is better than cynical and bitter, right? Naive and optimistic must be better than pessimistic, right? And weren't we all misguided at the start? It was only from sage advice from those who came before us or getting through that first semester we taught that helped us realize that students didn't need to like us to learn or that them liking us might actually make things worse.
This post stirred up lots of feelings in others as well.
I wanted to share some of my reactions to the responses because it is the responses that made me almost write in (not the original post). I am going to include some snippets (or flava) of the reactions below:
Some gave helpful advice:
"* Some if not many of your students will feel your class is important. Others won’t. There’s not a hell of a lot you can do about it. Show you care about the material and they’ll come to their own conclusions. Some students are on this earth to recycle air. You won’t reach them. So what? Focus on the majority of them who really are worth a damn and ignore the ones who aren’t." [I love the phrase 'on earth to recycle air']
"*Every class is going to be "just another class" for most of the students in it. That doesn't mean you can't teach the shit out of it. No one ever, in the whole history of everything, ever seemed even "a little cool" by wanting to. You don't have to be cool to teach your students. You don't have to be cool for them to like you."
Or practical advice:
"*Make it a portion of the student's grade to submit, each class, a question or comment from the readings for class discussion. This will require that they do at least some of the reading. Some students still will not do it. Some will take the lower grade, and some will make up stupid questions 5 minutes before class. But, you will be able to tell who those students are and grade them accordingly."
Some addressed the misguided posts with harshness and humor:
"*There are so many things wrong with your point of view but let us start with the most obvious, the idea that you can get all of your students to show up on time, bring their books, and be prepared? You’ll be lucky if they even buy the books rookie! This imaginary fantasy student that you speak of is much like a cat that you train to use the toilet. Everyone has seen a clip of one on Youtube, or heard of a friend of a friend who had one. However every cat you ever have will just pee on your bed and crap in your plants."
But some were down right mean. I would have cried if I had posted the question and got the following responses, and I almost cried reading them even though they weren't directed at me. Here is the worst of the meanest:
"*Here's my response: Dumbass."
"*I absolutely know how to get ALL my students to come to my classes on time, every time. They love it so much they want to be there even AFTER class is over! But since I am most likely one of the lousy professors you had, focusing on minutiae (which, you dipshit, is necessary in my field), I am not going to fucking tell you the secret."
"*Just get your shit together, and teach. Given the desperate narcissism of your post, I can see why your students don’t come to class. I probably wouldn’t, either."
And one that was fairly condescending, but redeemed by offers of scotch:
"* It's so cute to see naiveté bud and blossom. When the students kick cynicism into your veins come on over to my house. I'll save some scotch for you."
There are more posts there, but my response was most strongly to the mean posts. If I could have written in to RYS, it would have sounded something like this:
How quickly you forget. We were all new at this game once. Some of us are new know, desperately tying to find our way, to do a better-than-good job, to get tenure or a job that we can stand, to feel good about our day, to find happiness in a job that we suffered through a decade of college to get. Why are those past this newbie stage so willing to cut the throats of the ghosts of their former selves? For me, RYS has to be a place where I get all the things my job doesn't provide me. I need this virtual water cooler to make me feel better about my day (love that smackdown), to laugh, and to find solace. When I see people with such vitriol, it breaks my heart and spirit. Don't ruin a good thing and consider giving a handout (instead of a bitchsmack) to those that follow in your footsteps.
So here is the letter I was going to write in (a bit expanded for my blog's sake):
Recently, a young professor posted this --basically a request for help and advice. Were her ideas a bit Pollyanna at times (wanting students to view the course as more than just a course), a bit naive at times (expecting there might be a way to get all students to show on time, every time), and a bit misguided (wanting the students to think she is cool)? Yes. And I felt those things as soon as I read her post. At its heart, these aren't the worst things. A bit Pollyanna is better than cynical and bitter, right? Naive and optimistic must be better than pessimistic, right? And weren't we all misguided at the start? It was only from sage advice from those who came before us or getting through that first semester we taught that helped us realize that students didn't need to like us to learn or that them liking us might actually make things worse.
This post stirred up lots of feelings in others as well.
I wanted to share some of my reactions to the responses because it is the responses that made me almost write in (not the original post). I am going to include some snippets (or flava) of the reactions below:
Some gave helpful advice:
"* Some if not many of your students will feel your class is important. Others won’t. There’s not a hell of a lot you can do about it. Show you care about the material and they’ll come to their own conclusions. Some students are on this earth to recycle air. You won’t reach them. So what? Focus on the majority of them who really are worth a damn and ignore the ones who aren’t." [I love the phrase 'on earth to recycle air']
"*Every class is going to be "just another class" for most of the students in it. That doesn't mean you can't teach the shit out of it. No one ever, in the whole history of everything, ever seemed even "a little cool" by wanting to. You don't have to be cool to teach your students. You don't have to be cool for them to like you."
Or practical advice:
"*Make it a portion of the student's grade to submit, each class, a question or comment from the readings for class discussion. This will require that they do at least some of the reading. Some students still will not do it. Some will take the lower grade, and some will make up stupid questions 5 minutes before class. But, you will be able to tell who those students are and grade them accordingly."
Some addressed the misguided posts with harshness and humor:
"*There are so many things wrong with your point of view but let us start with the most obvious, the idea that you can get all of your students to show up on time, bring their books, and be prepared? You’ll be lucky if they even buy the books rookie! This imaginary fantasy student that you speak of is much like a cat that you train to use the toilet. Everyone has seen a clip of one on Youtube, or heard of a friend of a friend who had one. However every cat you ever have will just pee on your bed and crap in your plants."
But some were down right mean. I would have cried if I had posted the question and got the following responses, and I almost cried reading them even though they weren't directed at me. Here is the worst of the meanest:
"*Here's my response: Dumbass."
"*I absolutely know how to get ALL my students to come to my classes on time, every time. They love it so much they want to be there even AFTER class is over! But since I am most likely one of the lousy professors you had, focusing on minutiae (which, you dipshit, is necessary in my field), I am not going to fucking tell you the secret."
"*Just get your shit together, and teach. Given the desperate narcissism of your post, I can see why your students don’t come to class. I probably wouldn’t, either."
And one that was fairly condescending, but redeemed by offers of scotch:
"* It's so cute to see naiveté bud and blossom. When the students kick cynicism into your veins come on over to my house. I'll save some scotch for you."
There are more posts there, but my response was most strongly to the mean posts. If I could have written in to RYS, it would have sounded something like this:
How quickly you forget. We were all new at this game once. Some of us are new know, desperately tying to find our way, to do a better-than-good job, to get tenure or a job that we can stand, to feel good about our day, to find happiness in a job that we suffered through a decade of college to get. Why are those past this newbie stage so willing to cut the throats of the ghosts of their former selves? For me, RYS has to be a place where I get all the things my job doesn't provide me. I need this virtual water cooler to make me feel better about my day (love that smackdown), to laugh, and to find solace. When I see people with such vitriol, it breaks my heart and spirit. Don't ruin a good thing and consider giving a handout (instead of a bitchsmack) to those that follow in your footsteps.
Hmm...
You are breakfasty, like a pile of pancakes on a Sunday morning that have just the right amount of syrup, so every bite is sweet perfection and not a soppy mess. You are a glass of orange juice that's cool, refreshing, and not overly pulpy. You are the time of day that's just right for turning the pages of a newspaper, flipping through channels, or clicking around online to get a sense of how the world changed during the night. You don't want to stumble sleepily through life, so you make a real effort to wake your brain up and get it thinking. You feel inspired to accomplish things (whether it's checking something off your to-do list or changing the world), but there's plenty of time for making things happen later in the day. First, pancakes.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Why don't I have 43 things
I am supposed to do my list of 43 things and I have not been able to do so. I thought I was just too tired to blog, but I fear it is much more. I think I don't know what I want. Sure I have a few things that I want to put on the list: I want to visit Scotland, England and Ireland and I want to learn sign language (I know some, but I am not fluent), but I don't think I know 41 more things that I want. Currently, I want a new job, I want to move to a town that provides me some semblance of a social life, I want to be 'not single'. I don't know if I want to get married or have kids (I go back and forth), but I know that life is just to hard to be on your own. This weekend for example, I will go 48 hours without seeing another person or talking to another person. I have friends I could call--friends who would be glad to hear from me. I could call my family as well, but my life doesn't depend on doing so. I want to share my life with someone; I want someone to share their life with me. [The lack of subject-verb agreement in that sentence is bothersome. It should read "I want someone to share his life with me." I guess it is good that good grammar is on my mind, sometimes bad grammar just sounds 'right.'] How can I feel like a good and worthy person if no one wants a part in my life?
I guess I am getting a bit off track, I think 43things should be serious, life-long things, not banal, unimportant, tiny things. I checked out the site; the most common things are (in top ten order):
1. lose weight2. stop procrastinating3. fall in love 4. write a book 5. be happy6. get a tattoo7. drink more water8. go on a road trip with no predetermined destination9. get married 10. travel the world
I definitely want to lose weight. I could stand to lose 40 or 50 pounds. I am sure I could procrastinate less, drink more water (who couldn't) or be happier (I am probably depressed officially now. I debate trying to see someone or get on anti-depressants). I don't want write a book, but I am pulling together ideas for a screenplay. I covered my feelings on traveling the world, getting married, and falling in love above (albeit briefly). As for road trip with no predetermined destination--I am not much for driving (or car trips for that matter), and the best road trips really are determined by the company. Besides, gas prices being what they are, it might be more cost efficient to just pull out a globe/map point to a city at random and buy a plane ticket. Finally, I don't have a tattoo--which makes me a bit of a rare bird among those in my age group. Sometimes, I think about tattoos--but I think I have enough things to regret. I am lucky that those things I regret are not displayed in ink across my skin. I am not sure that there is a symbol, phrase, or picture that I want embedded in my skin indefinitely. How will all of those 'tramp stamps' look when these women are 70 years old. It is weird to think of old women with tattoos. They make erasable tattoos now--tattoos that are erasable with just one laser treatment. So, maybe sometime, years from now I might get one....but for now, I like being a clean slate, a blank canvas. And, I find them very unattractive on men.
Other interesting things I saw on 43 things:
-Be grateful for 5 things daily (I am just to 'dark and twisty' for that.)
-Finish my phd (well, I can count that off my list)
-Learn to play the guitar (I was learning for awhile, but guitar broke and haven’t got it fixed).
-Run a marathon (I do think about this occasionally)
-Have better posture (I definitely should do this)
-Visit all 50 states (I have been to (if we count all travel including driving through) 18 states with one more later this month).
I need another online thing to manage like I need a whole in my head. I don't blog enough as it is so I guess I am not making my list anytime soon.
I think I need to go to bed.
I guess I am getting a bit off track, I think 43things should be serious, life-long things, not banal, unimportant, tiny things. I checked out the site; the most common things are (in top ten order):
1. lose weight2. stop procrastinating3. fall in love 4. write a book 5. be happy6. get a tattoo7. drink more water8. go on a road trip with no predetermined destination9. get married 10. travel the world
I definitely want to lose weight. I could stand to lose 40 or 50 pounds. I am sure I could procrastinate less, drink more water (who couldn't) or be happier (I am probably depressed officially now. I debate trying to see someone or get on anti-depressants). I don't want write a book, but I am pulling together ideas for a screenplay. I covered my feelings on traveling the world, getting married, and falling in love above (albeit briefly). As for road trip with no predetermined destination--I am not much for driving (or car trips for that matter), and the best road trips really are determined by the company. Besides, gas prices being what they are, it might be more cost efficient to just pull out a globe/map point to a city at random and buy a plane ticket. Finally, I don't have a tattoo--which makes me a bit of a rare bird among those in my age group. Sometimes, I think about tattoos--but I think I have enough things to regret. I am lucky that those things I regret are not displayed in ink across my skin. I am not sure that there is a symbol, phrase, or picture that I want embedded in my skin indefinitely. How will all of those 'tramp stamps' look when these women are 70 years old. It is weird to think of old women with tattoos. They make erasable tattoos now--tattoos that are erasable with just one laser treatment. So, maybe sometime, years from now I might get one....but for now, I like being a clean slate, a blank canvas. And, I find them very unattractive on men.
Other interesting things I saw on 43 things:
-Be grateful for 5 things daily (I am just to 'dark and twisty' for that.)
-Finish my phd (well, I can count that off my list)
-Learn to play the guitar (I was learning for awhile, but guitar broke and haven’t got it fixed).
-Run a marathon (I do think about this occasionally)
-Have better posture (I definitely should do this)
-Visit all 50 states (I have been to (if we count all travel including driving through) 18 states with one more later this month).
I need another online thing to manage like I need a whole in my head. I don't blog enough as it is so I guess I am not making my list anytime soon.
I think I need to go to bed.
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